I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
