so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
