We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just crazy horny about you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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