He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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