Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
