As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
babies were throwing up all over the place
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
