she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
