Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
