Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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