woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
