I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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