I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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