This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
