She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
