I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
