Do you still have your period?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
