DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
