they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
