I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
