brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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