Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
