All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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