We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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