He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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