this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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