He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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