I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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