What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
