Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
