you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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