listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
