Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
