Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
