Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
