apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
