He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
