Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
