just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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