Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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