Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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