Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
