Will you blow on my dice?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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