Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
