i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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