ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
