You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize