i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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