Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
