Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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