no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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