at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
