whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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