The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
