I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
