there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
