I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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