Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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