Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
