I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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