Me. At least after what I've been through.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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